Growing up, I was the outcast. I was the girl who was always out with the guys. (I guess that's because I have two older brothers whom I idolize with all my heart!) Kevin and Dylan would want me to go away but I wouldn't because I liked to hang out with their friends. They interested me in ways that Kev and Dyl didn't. I liked to hang out, climb trees, play basketball and baseball. Well any kind of guy stuff that you could possible think of. Most of the girls didn't even know my name until the end of middle school. That was okay though because I'm just a girl stuck in a materialistic world of beauty.

I think that guys always had more fun than the girls did because the girls were always worrying if they were going to get dirty. (Like that was a bad thing!) In elementary, I was the one who came home dirty, with no socks on because I liked the feel of rocks between my toes. (I couldn't play cops and robbers with my shoes on!) I liked it when the guys would fight over who would get me and who could pick me first. It always amazed me to see who I would play with each day.

In middle school, I started to hang out with the girls, but only those who didn't care what they looked like without makeup and if their clothes didn't happen to match that day. By the end of middle school, I started to care about my looks more. I experimented with makeup and would do my hair every now and then. I started to worry if Jarod would like my hair or if Warren would like my clothes from one day to another. I even started to go to school dances just to make fun of what all the girls had on. (I'm not mean. I just don't understand the fundamentals behind wearing something that you were worried about getting dirty in.) Then I wanted to be a cheerleader, not for group satisfaction, but for my own. I just wanted to see if I could get in or not. I made the team but didn't care for it that much. The practices were long and the coach was very mean to the team captain. I didn't like her at all! It was made up of preps mostly, which worried too much about the other cheerleading team and their uniforms than our cheers. I can't believe that they were that conceeded to not even realize how bad we looked. I wasn't interested in looking for a boyfriend, that's what most of the girls used cheerleading for, so I quit the team after two weeks of the games. (I thought boys were better off as my friends, not my boyfriends. Anyway they didn't run their mouths like girls did. You never had to worry that your deepest, darkest secret was going to end up on the bathroom wall during the next passing period or start a rumor about you kissing someone else for a change.)

During highschool, I started to dress nice and care what others thought of me. I guess that I was starting to worry what everyone thought because guys were looking at me with interest. (I got boobs in the seventh grade, but I thought that they got in the way of my sports.) Dylan and Kevin started to worry that guys would go out with me for the wrong reasons, but I told them the simple truth. With them as older brothers, I didn't need their help to protect myself. I could do it because I didn't spend all those years fighting with them to learn nothing. I could take a guy down with my eyes closed. Kevin and Dylan are two years older than me and are going to start their junior year of college soon. (They are about twenty minutes from home and think that it is going to kill them to stay away from Mom's cooking for that long.) Some of their friends started to notice me in a different light. Their best friends' little sister looked good in those tight jeans and that cute shirt today or something along those lines. I tried to stay away from guys who wanted more than a friendship at the time.

There is one guy that I don't mind getting close to though. Jason Bryant is the All-American jock at our school, you name it and he has played it. Jason's so cute and I want more than anything to ask him to the formal this year. I just hope that I can ask him before Brooke does.